You are NOT the father

Folks I’m sick. That kind of sick when you’re prescribed meds that you have to take up to 4 times a day and you wish you're mum was taking care of you. (Now my mum couldn't take care of me when I was sick, she was too busy bustin' her hump working 3 jobs... so I'm imagining scene's of Happy Days where Mrs C is making me chicken soup)

I’m bored out of my mind and it’s day one of my sickness. There’s no point putting on a DVD, as I’m at the stage where I’ll doze off at a drop of a hat. So I resorted to watching talk shows. (I know..shoot me now!)

Flicking through the myriad of channels I have subscribed to, there is nothing but trashy talk shows. As a teenager I loved them, as a fully functional adult, I loathe them.

I stopped to watch Maury, as there is nothing worse than watching a UK talk show. I always feel like they are trying to live up to the reputation and heights (or should I say lows) of The Jerry Springer show.

..however, I was always partial to Kilroy on a weekday morning.


The subject of today’s show Paternity Tests. Nothing wrong here, its your standard subject on Maury, right? Well to add insult to injury, these women were on their 9th or 10th DNA test!

Why on earth are you going to broadcast on T.V that you are a slapper (and that’s putting it mildly). Through the crocodile tears one woman say’s her son will one day ask her, who his daddy is, and she won’t be able to tell him.... Erm that’s because your mummy was giving it to every guy in town!

To top it off, these women are so convinced that this was the guy all along. Using the weakest excuse in the book, “my baby looks just like him..” But wait; didn’t she say that to the last 4 guys??

After looking at a split screen, even a blind person could see this dude was not the father….